Monday, August 6, 2007

Insomniac Ramblings Phase I

One thing I should make clear right now: I get insomnia. Not often, but often enough to convince me I won't be one of those people who spends a whole third of their life with their peepers closed. No way. I've never been a sound sleeper, not even when I was an infant, apparently.

The problem is I think too much. Right now, I've got a project on my mind. To make things worse for this workaholic, it's an unfinished project. This summer session I've been taking a 16mm film production class. Our final projects are due Wednesday morning. I started editing tonight by cutting the scenes out individually...then I accidentally wound up getting them all out of order.

Before I continue with that, let me say that this was not my original plan for the night. I was going to go out with a girl. I don't know if it could be called a date because I really am not sure where she stands on the subject of me. Anyway, Saturday night I asked her if she wanted to go out last night (Sunday). She agreed, we exchanged numbers, etc. Coming over to her house, I asked her what she wanted to do. Turns out, nothing. Not anything by my doing, just some weird timing: her ex-boyfriend who was studying abroad is going to be back in town and wants to see if things can be worked out.

Right place, wrong time. I told her she was cute, and that if things didn't work out with that guy we could still hang out sometime. She was quick to say she does now have my number. Who knows.

Sometimes I wish I had Mel Gibson's ability like in What Women Want. I wouldn't use it for bad, just to see if a girl really thinks well of me or if she's just being nice to this mug with holey jeans and a Zappa t-shirt. Another thing is I'd have to be able to turn the power off and on at will. Can you imagine being on the phone with a woman while having that ability? You wouldn't know what to respond to! Anyway, having that ability could in many cases keep me from investing my time in someone who might not feel the same.

So. Anyway. My plans changed, so this girl's housemate - my ex-girlfriend Shelley - and I went over to Mottier Hall to begin editing our film. Under the bizarre impression that I was somehow tired, I decided to only cut my scenes apart and piece them together later. As I was hanging my film up on the hooks, I dropped some of them onto the floor. So now I have maybe 50+ scenes OUT OF ORDER that I have to put back IN order sometime today (Monday) and/or tomorrow (Tuesday). That is dominating my thoughts right now, wanting to go over to Mottier and at least sort it out. I keep thinking not just WHAT needs to be done, but HOW I'd go about doing it. I picture it in my head...and I cannot sleep as a result of it.

I ought to also come out and catch you up on anything you may have missed since I closed down my blog in mid-March, when I stumbled upon the horrifying (and yet true) notion that my parents had read EVERYTHING on my blog, from January 2006 to March 2007.

Let's start at the beginning:
At the end of Spring Break, I decided to take Shelley back. To make a long story short, things were fine for a while, but then she became a bit of a burden. I began to emotionally detach myself from her.
Summer classes started the Tuesday after finals week on May 8th. I moved in with my friend (and former Heliocentric) Eric Condon and his friend Andrew Keeler in a tumble-down rat's nest just east of campus. Shelley moved to a house on 2nd Street and had two, then later one, housemate.
I wound up making straight A's in my Communication and Culture classes, a C in Latin 250, and an A+ in my Czech Film and Literature class. My final paper for said class was submitted to an international writing contest at my instructor's request. Needless to say, I was floored by that. I didn't win anything, but that's certainly resume fodder, right?
On May 14th Shelley and I broke up.
Shelley is a great person, but her only obstacle in life is herself. I told her just last week if she could see herself through my eyes for a nanosecond she would not need therapy.
A few weeks later I started dating a girl from Seymour two years my junior - Melanie. Things were smooth and happy the whole time. However, we called it off after about 6 weeks so that we could both have breathing room once school started back up. (Mind you, she is going to be a freshman @ IU this year, so this isn't a matter of age disparity so much as this is something she needs to experience on her own.)
For a while I was kind of an ass to Shelley. I blew her off and didn't regularly speak with her. After Melanie and I broke up, we reconnected, deciding to be friends. It wasn't easy for either of us to pick up and move on, but it is what we need to do. We're now very close friends.
My first class was Writing Media Criticism, which gave me my Intensive Writing Credit. Since I'm doing another Intensive Writing course this fall, I don't have to do the final paper. Instead, I can do a project. It's with Professor Hawkins, who I had for Experimental Film last fall, and this fall it is a course on Avant-Garde Cinema. What the difference is between "Avant-Garde" and "Experimental" film, I don't know...but what I DO know is I am doing another video project.

Maybe I can do a follow-up to Insomniac Romance?

Music-wise, Eric and I jammed a lot this summer. Among our cohorts included Adam Gratz, Blake Thomas, Eric DiBlasi Sr., (with just me and Gratz) Adam Duckworth, Nick DiBlasi, and Keeler.
After class this week, I'm off to Alabama with Eric and a bunch of his friends, all but one of whom I have met at least once.
Speaking of Eric, my older brother isn't married yet. But that's his thing. He's no idiot - despite my many claims to the contrary - and I know he is waiting for the right time, never mind the right amount of money to call a nest egg. Jokingly I asked him who his best man would be, and he said with all sincerity, "I don't know, I was thinking you."

All I can say is that I'm flattered and would gladly accept, I just hope they allow me time to concoct a speech that is both witty and poignant. And not in the least bit cheesy or cliched. That's not easy to do.

Finally, let me say that it's good to be back on the Internets. I've missed being able to write out my thoughts and get feedback on it. My relationship with my parents has dramatically improved since March. Are they perfect? No, but whose parents are - honestly.
Anyway, what really had them vexed was all the negativity I expressed about them in the heat of the moment. That and the usage of the work "fuck." (Oddly enough, I don't use it a fraction as much in my vernacular as I do in my writing.) And the fact that they learned Shelley and I were living together. (Which is something I have absolutely NO interest in anytime soon. And by soon I'm talking YEARS from now...) They could assume the worst from what they read and probably have been 110% correct.

Last thing: I've decided to go for my Ph.D. (or "Phud" as Ringo calls it in Yellow Submarine) in Communication And Culture. This program doesn't seem to exactly be blossoming careers at the Bachelor's Degree level. Anyway, I'll be teaching your children about film analysis and history. Between me and your children, I really don't know who to feel more sorry for.


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