Tuesday, November 27, 2007

"Gee, it's good to be back home/Leave me till tomorrow to unpack my case/Honey, disconnect the phone"

There is so much to update on:

Kate and I broke up on 11/6. It wasn't mutual, and it was my decision. We're still friends. It's not still a touchy subject for us, but I don't want to go into details. Basically, there was frustration on my part. It's not that I didn't get to see her enough, but that I didn't get to see her PERIOD. Just something that started small, went unnoticed, got bigger, still went unresolved...then that was it.
It's all good, though. I've had some time to refocus, and I think it would be wise for me to follow my original plan that was the source of dissatisfaction with Shelley and something I'd wanted to do at the beginning of the school year: see what all is out there and not get too wrapped up with any one person. If someone who seems right comes along, I'll pursue it, but that takes time.

That brings me to my next point: I've got time on my hands, as I'm going to be in school for at least another four years. I took the GRE on the 24th and did well on it. Now, the grad school application process begins: time for recommendation letters, writing samples, and drafting up my statement of purpose. I want to study music instead of film now, but more on that later. I plan on meeting with Professor Hollinden sometime soon to discuss this.

I took a shit in a urinal. (I figured I'd juxtapose talks of grad school with that - I've not forgotten my roots.)

Eric is just a few tracks away from completing the Hobbyhorse album, which we are slated to finish during Winter Break. He really needs to get his ass up here and at least pursue his M.A. degree. He is very, very missed.

Thanksgiving break was the first time I was home since mid-September for more than ten minutes. I can never say that I miss Seymour. I don't ever roll into town and say, "Oh, good, there's the animal hospital! I'm practically there!" It's more about seeing the family and, honestly, the house, too.

But I might not be going to the big brown house from 1912 in Seymour next Thanksgiving. Dad applied to become camp director over at Indian Creek in Bedford, and the search has narrowed from 11 applicants to 4 interviewees, including Dad. If he gets it, he'll move to Bedford in January/February, and Mom and Nick will move in June after Nick graduates. Despite the pay cut, Dad will actually be happy with what he does. I'm behind it 110% if he is given the job, but then I'd be 110% behind him having to relocate to Abu Dhabi to do volunteer work - if it makes him happy. God knows he deserves it.

Everything else about Thanksgiving...eh...nothing outstanding to discuss. Nice quiet weekend at home. Lily has gotten so tall that Jasmine can walk under her...and Lily still loves me for whatever reason. I think it's because I'm the only person who has never scolded her. And you know what? I won't ever. She's too cute and hyper...and smart (for a dog). I didn't get to drum...and that kinda sucked. But I got some quality time in with Eric & Maddie, Nick, and Mom. (Note somebody's absence...)

Thankfully, I had forgotten my cell phone charger. Mom told me "one or both of us will meet you" at the intersection of Highways 50 and 446. I pulled up and saw just Dad. After getting my charger, he asked if I wanted to go in and get coffee. I hadn't eaten all day, so I had a sandwich and Powerade. A little under two and a half hours later, after discussing music, my academic future, girls, films and why I'm wanting to abandon film studies, classes, and his pending job, we parted ways.

That more than made up for the lack of face time I had with him, and not just during Thanksgiving Break. When I was sick, only Mom was able to come up. It was nice, and I enjoyed spending time with just her, but when I call home I usually talk to Mom. And I hadn't been around for Dad's birthday (I was in Alabama), but I will be around for Mom's (this Saturday, actually), so yeah...it's still strange talking to Dad not as my father but as my friend. We're more in common than either of us had thought until recently. It's weird to be a month and a half away from turning 21 and know that Dad was my age when he got married.

So it goes.

Back in mid-October, Graham invited me to be his roommate next year at an apartment. The building is LITERALLY a block off-campus. The pricing is reasonable, too. My parents aren't for it. Initially it was the issue of safety and the architectural soundness of the place. Once I got a tour of it and talked with somebody from the property management about how safe and sound the apartment was, for reasons I'm still not completely sure of, I was told that should I sign the contract I'm on my own for rent. I was also told to wait a year, spending my first year of grad school on campus; the year after that they'll cover housing.

The issue has kind of rested as I prepped for the GRE. But now it's on my mind again. In the weeks since even my last entry I've started making a case not so much specifically for the apartment but AGAINST the dorms. The best part - though it does suck for me right now - is that my case against even Willkie is writing itself. I have only $15 left on my meal card thanks to food being anywhere from one to four dollars over their actual retail prices (and the fact that I eat healthy 95% of the time). I'm up late because the laundry machines fucked up while drying two loads of clothes and towels. Last weekend I was driving all over this part of town trying to find a parking spot because every single parking spot around Willkie was taken - some by vehicles without student permits...lots and lots of reasons.

Initial cost and the subsequent cost of living for the apartment would still be cheaper than paying for the dorm room alone, I just need some paperwork indicating that.

I'm sick of living in a dorm (did I mention that even though my thermostat is set for 55, the room is BURNING UP because the building's heater switched on sometime last month. Yeah, it was cold to the point that I had what I call snotsicles in August and September and now my sleep is interrupted by waking up dripping sweat. Oh, and opening the window? That's what gave me the flu a couple weeks ago...), and I really feel that the apartment is a rational solution.

Mom said, "You'll do whatever you want whether we approve of it or not." That's true, but it's not an issue of defiance. It's an issue of practicality. Grad school isn't cheap, and Nick is starting college next fall. I see it as 1.) a personal step forwards towards independence and "real life" and 2.) an effective - and did I mention practical? - cost-cutting measure.

Oh, well. Hopefully the suspense is killing you...
Alex

PS - In response to m@'s question, it's weird how small this world truly is. Sometimes I'll friend someone on Facebook and be blown away to see how many friends we have in common. Anyway, I'll be more active in future comment-page discussions, I've just been busy as all Hell these past few weeks between my break-up with Kate and then the GRE. Projects and finals are right around the corner, but I'll make time to post here again soon.

Saturday, November 3, 2007

I have nothing to say at this point.

That is all.

Things are good. Taking the GRE on 11/24. God help us all.

Ray Davies visited me last night in my dream. I'm starting to think it wasn't a dream but a divine vision.

Alex