New Lyrics - rattled off like I was taking a piss.

You know, fuck it. Google my name and this site will pop up right after you sift through several pages about the jewelry designer in Sydney of the fairer sex with my exact same name. But I don't care anymore. I adopted this attitude during some of the darker moments in my relationship with my parents and we all respectfully agreed to disagree and realize at the end of the day, our bond has, to crib a quote from Neil Young, "staying power, through thick and thin."

I wrote some lyrics. They flowed out of me, based on little more than the three simple words that comprise the title. Shelley's mentor gave her variations of this message time and time again, that and the reminder to just stay calm and "Breathe." Bit like Grapefruit-era Yoko in that regard. I decided to publish them here. Since I've now owned a guitar for almost two months (and still suck at it, but time to get some practicing in has been a bit scarce of late), the chances of this and other similarly subtly-phrased gems being put to music has become 78% more likely.

Here goes. Dig in.

Hang In There (For Her)

If I could I’d like to share that burden on your back
‘Cause it seems to me like you’re about to crack because
Two small people with smaller minds, even smaller hearts, and no soul
Are causing big problems and they’re taking their toll on you
They say they’re right but we know they’re wrong
They’re short in sight but words still hurt that’s why I have this song
For you, the only thing that matters is you, your life’s your own
Don’t let it get you down, don’t give in to sit and piss and moan

Hang in there, hang in there, I can’t say too much more
Hang in there, hang in there, hang in there
Say it day and night, hang in there, hang in there, hang in there

You’re not some foolish child, the source why things are bad
You’re up against people who’ve never been glad that you’re
Not a junkie, not a hooker, not a burnout, not a dropout
Not a victim, not a killer, not a thief, not a copout
That you’ve got your marbles and you don’t need a machine to breathe
Ain’t worth a puddle of truck-stop vomit because you don’t believe what they believe
They fear you because you’re free and follow a different set of rules
What they can’t understand is how you live pursuing your own muse

Hang in there, hang in there, I can’t say too much more
Hang in there, hang in there, hang in there
Say it day and night, hang in there, hang in there, hang in there

You’re not a fuck-up, you’re not a failure, you’re an angel, you’re a savior
Your own worst enemy is you, but they’re tied for second place
But you’re stronger than that, your aim is true, you’re no head case
But they are and they can’t stand that you’re thinking for yourself
And putting their archaic dusty tomes where they belong on the museum shelf
You’re with the program, you get the picture, you’re a 21st century girl
And you’ve done no wrong except embrace the freedom of life in the modern world
It’s cliché, but it’s okay because you’re not alone.

Hang in there, hang in there, I can’t say too much more
Hang in there, hang in there, hang in there
Say it day and night, hang in there, hang in there, hang in there

(10/26/09, 6:32 AM)

What else could I have said? It's gotten past the point of mere tolerance, and it's taken a toll on us, her, me, them (though I say you've shat in your own bed and must lie in it), and even my parents. As we've both learned, parental approval has become something we seek less and less. My mom found out that I simply blocked her on Facebook for the sake of my privacy - why else did she sign up, seriously? - and there were no consequences.

I'm not saying we should all unleash our inner animal, but what's the point of walking around on eggshells on one side and broken glass on the other? Who gives a shit, just put on your boots and stomp a path for yourself. You've got to be happy with you, because you're the only person who will be with you from birth to death. At the end of the day, who you are and how you carry yourself is between you and (if you believe, like I do, and Shelley does) your God.

"You can live a lie until you die,
One thing you can't hide
Is when you're crippled inside."
-- John Lennon

The people we're dealing with need wheelchairs, by the way.

Alex

New name.

I had a comment from someone who really does suffer from hypergraphia. My own compulsions and introversion be damned, hypergraphia itself is not what I have.

To the guy (Harold Knight) and others who really do have this, connected with mania, epilepsy, and bipolar disorder, I'm really, really sorry.

Alex

Reunion? What?

Yeah...class of 2005 is already getting the five-year reunion off the ground.

I received the following message:
"Hi Alex,

I am needing some information from you in regards to our class reunion that will be coming up this summer. Can you believe it's already been five years?! If you have any suggestions feel free to send them my way.

Also, could you please give me your home address, email, and best number to reach you at? This will help me update contact information for everyone in our class. ******* **** and myself will be the only people with access to your information =)

Thanks for your help!
***** **************"
(Names omitted for obvious reasons)

Now, I couldn't help but remember how this person - and probably anyone else responsible for the planning of this soiree - never really talked to me in high school. Never mind my promise that if I'm in Seymour it had better be Christmas, a wedding, a funeral, or all of the above at the same time. So I had to ask myself, how to rub my situation in the face of my hometown?

With tact and grace, of course.

"Hi ***** -
I know for sure I won't be able to make it. I'm in graduate school in New York, and getting home is kind of a hassle...I do know I'll have classes this summer, Shelley and I are getting married (!!!!!!!!!!!), and we'll most likely be honeymooning in Europe. So........yeah.

Will you still need my contact info?
Alex"

I wouldn't go if it was all expenses paid. Why waste my time? That said, I kind of realized how good I have it. I'm in graduate school in New York, engaged to a great woman, and we have plans for a European honeymoon.

"One sweet dream came true today."
- The Beatles, "You Never Give Me Your Money"