Wednesday, July 23, 2008

"I'm free/I'm free/And freedom tastes of reality"

The Who's Tommy is my favorite album, tied with Preservation Act 2 by The Kinks. I've been wanting to quote something from it for a long time. Now's my chance.

Let me first follow up on my last post, then respond to each of you individually.

It dawned on me this morning as I biked to class that what had me so upset was that my existence was the result of a very delicate balance. But then I realized something: even without all that, the way human biology works, all of us are here as the result of a very delicate balance.

What matters is that I DO exist, and to make the most out of it. Oddly enough, this is advice I heard from Richard Dawkins.

m@ - I work Friday, but I'm free after 9:30 PM if you're still around then. Let me know if that works for you.

Shelley - What can I possibly say? You were here for me.

Squalus - In your anonymous omniscience, all I can say is thanks for imparting your opinion to me in such a timely manner. Since I still don't know who you are I cannot evaluate how qualified you are to say whether or not telling them was a bad idea.
I appreciate your support in telling me to stay strong, though I am still bothered by your lack of identity. You strike me at times as a poor man's m@, and other times oddly well-informed. I can assume you live in Seymour.

This wasn't a mistake. I needed to get it out into the open. I want Shelley to be there with me at Eric and Maddie's wedding, a major family event with lots of pictures. Also, I don't want to dance with anyone else - and she can FINALLY have the pleasure of meeting my grandparents, those lovable raconteurs.

But more importantly, we're going to have enough bullshit to deal with regarding Shelley's own about an uphill battle, seeing as in the 14 months since I last communicated with them I have remained a non-Jew. Shelley's parents are stuck in the 1950's and even more stubborn and set in their ways. They can (and will) pretend nothing is wrong. I still don't know which one is worse.

Anyway, the way I see it, the thought of my folks being the "good" parents in all of this - that is, the accepting parents - and having them on our side when push finally does come to shove with Shelley's parents is ideal. Otherwise, it wouldn't be good parents/bad parents. It would just be an elopement.

ANYWAY, I'm sure Eric and Maddie are trying their hardest to keep their plans for the wedding, etc., to themselves. It's just not easy. I feel lucky over here since I can recap my week in a telephone conversation.

Oh, and trust me, there will be head games aplenty.

Before I told her Shelley and I were together, she and Dad were considering a visit to Bloomington on Sunday. This morning in my inbox was an email that ended with "Think about coming over for a visit. Miss you." Not "Thinking about coming over for a visit" or "See you Sunday - call and let me know what time works for you", but a subtle urge to go back to that shit palace (the town, not our house - we actually have a nice house) for a night, and all because I have a morning class and free evenings.

Yeah, let me think about that...

Guess there's a general consensus of no, plus one "bloody fairy."

I don't even care what excuse I come up with. I'm not doing that in one night. It will get to be too late, I know I wouldn't be able to coax Shelley into coming (why, I just don't know...), waste of gas, and a shit-ton of deer await me on the dark curvy highways. I'm serious, those little bastards get me white-knuckled. I would love to travel down that stretch of road with Forrest, because 1.) I wouldn't have to worry about hitting deer, and 2.) Have you ever had deer jerky? Delicious.

At any rate, there's two of them and one of me. It's more economical that they come here.



Shelley said...

The first time I'd see your parents is if/when they come to Bloomington. I really don't think it would be appropriate if I came home to Seymour.

That's right, you DO exist. Everyone in this world exists on some sort of fluke. We are together because of a small piece of chalk lying on the ground.

As for your dad, you are right. As much as you (and I) want to help him, we can't. Only he can. But if he EVER asks for any sort of assistance, you must drop everything and go to him.

Squalus, who ARE you? I am very curious.

As for my, I'm not going to go there. Not in a comment.

And by you not driving to Seymour, you will be saving the environment. And possibly saving LIVES. Or something like that.


m@ said...

OK, I'm not going to defend your mom. As much as I want to encourage you to consider all the factors surrounding how one reacts in certain situations, I will leave the defense of your mom up to your own well-informed imagination.

I am not sure if I'll be available at that late an hour on Friday. I apologize. In case you hadn't heard, we had quite a tragedy here--one of my youth was killed in a car accident so all plans I have are kind of in limbo.

I still want to actually TALK to you about stuff. I will let you know what works for me. I'm leaving for a trip Monday night (July 28) and will be gone until Sunday (August 3) so I promise to contact you and let you know.

God's peace, Alex. Call me if you need anything.