Daily Update #22: A Dream Come True

I have dreamed of this for years, but never quite thought it would be an actual scenario that would play out in real life. My girlfriend's dad is celebrating his birthday today.

What, pray tell, did I get him? I burned him a CD of Zappa. Not because I'm one of those lunatics who goes "YOU HAVEN'T HEARD FRANK ZAPPA WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU I WILL BURN YOU SIX CD'S OF HIS MOST ESSENTIAL SONGS NO WAIT MAYBE I'LL JUST BURN YOU SEVEN TO MAKE SURE I DON'T MISS ANYTHING!" - though I might have been at one point.

No, no, it's because he's a Zappa fan. Not a die-hard or anything, but he apparently has some records. So I made him a CD - just the one! - of my favorite Zappa tunes.

Alex

Daily Update #21: "Another Girl"

Well...the first date I talked about in the last entry, an "unknown unknown" that just sort of popped up, is now officially my girlfriend. And I'm her boyfriend. (Got to reciprocate.)

She's very vivacious, constantly smiling, we make each other laugh...things are good.

Daily Update #20: "I've Just Seen A Face"

...but then I have a night like tonight, and suddenly everything just seems right with the world.

It was just a first date, but it was just what I needed. Someone with a big, contagious smile, laughs a lot, similar interests, and um...as interested in me as I am her.

This is nice.

Alex

Daily Update #19: "A Rock And A Hard Place"

You know what is both a blessing and a curse? Morally ambiguous situations. I'm glad things are never just black or white, but at the same time - at least for an indecisive boob like me - weighing one's options is torture.

Damn that free will, huh?

Alex

PS - Happy birthday Ray Davies!

Daily Update #18: "Old Man"

This song still haunts me - in a good way - no matter how many times I hear it.

I talked to Dad for over an hour tonight, wishing him a Happy Father's Day, updating on some things going on in my life before a really nice chat about religion. We don't believe in the exact same things, but we're on the same page.

Alex

Daily Update #17: "C'mon And Take It Easy..."

...on the other hand, what's the rush?

Alex

Daily Update #16: "Lollipop"

Enjoy the new color scheme.

Me, I'm waiting so patiently...to make a subtle Stones reference...hoping for a sign of where to go and what to do. Not that I'm afraid of taking risks, it's just I took a big one getting back with Shelley. Two and a half years later and we're on opposite sides of the country; save for maybe a polite visit because one or the other of us happens to be in the same town, we won't see much of one another ever again. I miss her as a friend and I miss the idea of her as a partner, if that makes sense. Sometimes I still think of where things went wrong, and even though (or maybe even because) we're better off now I occasionally wonder if it was even worth pursuing. The $849 hole in my pocket for that engagement ring, plus the meager $65 I got pawning it, seem to say no...while all the good times we did have seem to say yes and that I'm a damn fool for asking.

Okay, maybe I'm a little afraid of taking risks.

There is a safe option. A guaranteed winner, without much difficulty. But it's average. Decidedly average. The less certain option is a definite - now to cite Donald Rumsfeld - a "known unknown." But I like what I've seen. Easily more of a risk, maybe even a little dangerous. Then there's all the "unknown unknowns" out there, ones yet to be encountered. All I know is that each is enticing, but I really can't see myself pursuing the safe bet. Not to come across as haughty, but I feel like I need to hold out. See what lies ahead.

I wish I could just look five years into the future and ask myself what's going on, who I'm with (and if I'm married), and how I'm doing.

Sorry. This means nothing to you.

Alex

Daily Update #15: "Australia"

I had a wild and crazy dream last night that involved me hitchhiking in San Francisco; the people who picked me up (which included my ex) said they were eventually going to hit my hotel. But then, like in the movies, there was one of those scenes of a map with the tiny plane going from one place to another. The plane went from San Francisco to Tokyo to Manila to Australia. The song "Australia" by The Kinks played and there was this goofy montage of me, my ex, and some strangers having fun in Australia, which included me exclaiming "I don't even have a passport!"

Weird, right?

Daily Update #14: "Speak Now Or Forever Hold Your Peace"

(Not going to lie, for a band that didn't specialize in covers, Cheap Trick knocked it out of the park anytime they DID do a cover. This is no exception. This feels like a demo.)

Is it wrong that, in spite of the fact that I don't intend on getting married anytime soon, I still get upset and maybe just a little bummed when I see someone I know (especially if they're younger than me) has taken the plunge?

Alex

Daily Update #13: "I Had Too Much To Dream Last Night"

I'd love to know what's causing me to have such weird dreams. It has to be the heat. First of all, my school was more like a high school than a college. I had to retake part of my final for Style Criticism by writing about one of Chopin's Mazurkas - which I had no problem with - and then I was with a study group of students who all matched the characters from Community, except it was people I knew from Brooklyn College.

And apparently I was the Jeff Winger character. The smart-ass. I guess that works.

Anyway, I woke up thinking it was real. But it wasn't.

Alex